I have…


… bribed Federales at the Corona Beach Club in Rosarita, Mexico.

…slept in the Amsterdam Train Staion.

…snuck down to the floor at a Pearl Jam concert.

…had sex with a hooker.

…won a Tae Kwon Do match.

…scored 10 points in a YMCA basketball game.

…took a piss in front of a police officer.

…threw drugs out of the window on  an Italian train.

…visited a gay bar.

…split my head open at a Montgomery Wards.

…been babysat by Mark Hammil.

…hung out with Lou Diamond Phillips.

…been praised by Peter Weller.

…won a trivia contest at a Texas Rangers game.

…had sex on a barber chair.

…was Fred Flintstone at a bar during Halloween.

…been stung by a bee.

…have had two strokes.

…used stilts.

…played minature golf.

…seen Michael Vick play football.

…driven a Maserati.

…seen Star Wars in 1977.

…been suspended from school.

…used Skoal Bandits.

…used liquid LSD.

…rode The Revolution at Magic Mountain.

…smoked opium.

…eaten escargo.

…scored a 142 on an IQ test.

…had sex with two women.

…started my own business.

…been kicked out of a Metallica concert for arson.

…had diabetes.

…had gangrene.

…won 1st place in Greek derivatives at a Texas high school tournament.

…panned for gold.

…been arrested for marijuana in South Padre Island.

…been to the Anne Frank Museum.

…watched an oil well being setup for drilling.

…fell off a pony onto a cactus.

…visited Montezuma’s Castle.

…completed E.T. the Atari 2600 game.

riden the Tea Cups.

…mined for crystals.

…smoked cigarettes.

…been to a Dallas Maverick playoff game.

…told a lie.

…told a policeman my dogs had been sprayed by a skunk when I was smoking pot.

…had anal sex.

…been biten by my Sister.

…have had a girl sit on my shoulders at a Warrant concert.

…have seen a donkey drink a beer.

…had diarreah in a Mexican hotel while watching the Batman TV show in German.

…set a church on fire.

…had gonorrhea.

…interviewed Doug Stanhope.

…smoked a cigar at a bull fight.

…watched Jai Alai.

…been front row for Joe Walsh.

…seen Dave Chappelle.

…put down someone elses dog.

…rode in a limosine.

…watched Pretty Woman being filmed.

…cast in Idiocracy.

…filmed a documentary on podcasting.

…streamed the last Gourds concert.

…received stock options.

…delivered pizza.

…eaten pussy.

…pulled over by police.

…made telemarketing calls.

…built a networking infrastructure.

…hit a golf ball.

…been to a strip club.

…bailed someone out of jail.

…cooked veggie lasagne.

…called the cops on a drunk.

…received oral sex.

…built a Lego spaceship.

…changed brakes on a car.

…installed a motor mount.

…gave a speech about audio podcasting.

…streamed Helldivers on Twitch.

…driven a cab.

…gotten drunk in a bar.

…thrown up under a table at a Mexican restaurant.

…eaten frog legs.

…riden a ten speed.

…bought a house.

…had sex in a hot tub.

…managed a Pizza Inn.

…taken nude photos.

…taken video of a Vince Neil interview.

…bought wigs.

…drank Aquavit.

…taken mushrooms while watching Widespread Panic.

…lost money doing a drug deal in New Orleans.

…riden in a car with a man who said he was a member of Metallica.

…watched my father scream “those cups have AIDS in em” at a Texas Rangers game.

…watched Wayne Gretzky play hockey.

…hung out with strippers.

…accidentally stolen gas.

…worked at Burger King

…worked at K-mart.

…managed a ticket line for Paul McCartney tickets for Texas Tickets.

…had breakfast at a delicatessen.

…managed a baseball card shop at Balch Springs Bazaar flea market.

…joined Twitter in January 2008.

…met Willie Nelson in an elevator at Love Field airport in Dallas, Texas.

…been the first to level 50 in Helldivers.

…been Benjamin Franklin in a school play.

…owned a dog named G-Dawg.

…had a car fly over me on Interstate 75.

…sold video games door to door.

…had a childhood friend die of a heroin overdose.

…watched the Von Erichs wrestle the Freebirds.

…tripped LSD while managing a Pizza Inn.

…smoked marijuana in an Amsterdam coffeehouse.

…played Dragon’s Lair.

…had a custom van named Love Machine.

…been in a Danish castle.

…been in a Danish discoteque.

…got drunk and played poker with the pizza guy from the mall.

…sold allthat.com for $10K.

…built a computer from scratch.

…built a napkin holder out of wood.

…seen Herbie Hancock in concert.

…drank a Black Pig.

…had wine on the streets of Paris.

…drove a Rover 3500.

…drove a Renault LeCar.

…drove a Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Brougham.

…drove a car 120 miles per hour.

…eaten a funnel cake.

…watched a man named Bob piss onto a one story house.

…fucked a black girl.

…fucked a redhead.

…fucked a brunette.

…fucked an asian.

…fucked a blonde.

…fucked a Canadian.

…been stuck on a roller coaster.

…been stuck in an elevator.

…done a drunk podcast.

…run video for a Bill Paxton interview.

…gotten Gary Carter’s autograph in an elevator.

…made money at school renting books.

…sold candy at school.

….eaten shrimp with eyes.

…had to guard a friend who was stabbed by a street gang when he went to the hospital.

…talked cops out of arresting friends.

…done whip its.

…done bong hits.

…had the air conditioner go out when it was 124 in Yuma Arizona.

…sung Fat Bottom Girls during Karaoke.

…been to a Dallas Tornadoes soccer game.

…been to a Dallas Desire lingerie football game.

…seen Bob Dylan in concert.

…seen Public Enemy in concert.

…shot a blowgun.

…watched a porno.

…dove off a high dive.


…broken a board with a punch.

…talked someone out of suicide.

…been told a friend was ninja.

…body surfed in Laguna Beach.

…eaten at the Burger that ate LA.

…been to Disneyland.

…flown in a jet.

…rode a gondala up Whistler.

…took the stairs up the Eiffel Tower.

…hiked at the Grand Canyon.

…won $700 on a slot machine at the Flamingo in Las Vegas.

…been to the Pinball Hall of Fame in Las Vegas.

…been to New York.

…been to Queensrhyche in concert.

…been to a freak show at the Texas State Fair.

…seen a two midgets in a bar that didn’t know each other.

…seen a blonde Iranian.

…driven a Mitsubishi 3000GT.

…swam in the Baltic Sea.

…been in a spelling bee.

…taken the SAT on LSD.

…owned a Mongoose bike.

…shaved a pussy.

…eaten pussy.

…had a one night stand.

…thrown a milk chocolate hand grenade at the vice principal of Liberty Junior High.

…never been fired.

…seen Phish in concert.

…seen Eric Clapton in concert.



Mark Ramsey

Technical Services/IT Manager

Phone: 512.297.4121
Website: markramsey.com


Managed website and computer systems for 5 years.  IT Director for 3 years. Computer sales for a year.  Managed website business for 3 years.

Core Competencies:

Oracle ERP, Goldmine, Peachtree, Highrise, Microsoft Exchange, Microsoft Project, Microsoft Office, Google Suite, FreshBooks Windows, Linux

Professional Experiences:

IT Manager
Masterpiece of Hollywood – March 1985 – January 2012

Key Deliverables:

  • Setup network and telecom infrastructure


IT Director
Luminex Corporation – April 1998 – November 2001

Key Deliverables:


  • Setup network and telecom infrastructure
  • Setup IT team
  • Consulted on all company departments
  • Integrated company with partners and customer systems


Computer Salesperson Corporate & Government Accounts
Austin Microsolutions – April 1997 – April 1998

Key Deliverables:


  • Sold computer systems


Volunteer work:

Live Stream Manager – February 2011-2012
Dallas Film Festival

Key Deliverables:


  • Streamed interviews with festival guests
  • Managed video editors
  • Setup telecom system


Live Video Production – January 2011
GeekBeat during CES

Key Deliverables:

  • Produced via Tricaster 8000


Depression – 2012 – June 2019

Stroke – June 2019



My Problems with YouTube.TV


First of all, I love YouTubeTV.  Local channels with some of my favorite cable channels for $50 a month.  They have me.  However, I do have a couple of problems.  You are supposed to be able to allow 6 family members to share YouTubeTV.  This does not work for me.  In addition, I purc hased NBA League Pass.  This does not work.   I have tried to send feedback to YouTubeTV to no avail!  Over a week and nothing.  Suicide may be my only option.  Someone at YouTube please untie the noose from may neck.  TIA.

Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza

download (1)

This is a takeoff of a pizza I used to make years ago at Pizza Inn.  I make it with lean ground beef, bacon, cheddar cheese, lettuce, hamburger pickles, yellow mustard and a cauliflower crust.  Start with a frozen cauliflower crust, which can be found at most grocery stores.  Spread yellow mustard on the crust.  Add shredded Cheddar cheese to the top.  Now add bacon on top.  I put it in the oven at 425 degrees for 12 minutes.  Remove the pizza from the oven.  Shredded lettuce is next on top of the pie.  The hamburger pickles are the last topping.  Cut into slices and serve.

The Kindle Fire is a Shitpad


I was having problems with an old Samsung tablet, so I thought I would upgrade.  A new Samsung was out of my price range, so I thought “I will give a Kindle Fire a try.”  I scooted over to Amazon and found a 32 Gig model and bought it.  Two days later I was excited to give it a try but I was met with frustration.  I couldn’t even login to my Amazon account using my current username/password after five or six attempts.  Giving up, I set up a new account just to get the thing to run.  I was then faced with more terrible news.  There were so many apps I could not run.  Chrome, Tinder, Anchor.  Apps that were crucial to my daily life were simply unavailable.  I tried to add Gmail.  I used my username/password and the correct captcha.  The piece of shit does not work.  What the fuck Bezos you troll.  Finally, I had enough.  I went back to Amazon to return it.  Guess what?  It was the first item that I couldn’t return on Amazon!  The nerve!  Please, whatever you do.  Never even think about purchasing this shitpad it is not worth anything.


CT Scan

Woke up tingling
Confused and scared
Frozen by fear
Unsure of the future
Knot in my stomach
Breathing so rapid
Anxiety so high
Must get to bathroom
I am going to die.

Ambulance called
Siren out loud
Questions answered
Strapped in the gurney
Vomit from fear
Joking to lighten
Blood pressure rises
Live afer all.

Zipping through traffic
Breakneck speed
Vitals are tested
Calming down now
Entering emergency
Testing and questions
Down in the bed
Machines that go beep
Mother so scared
Quiet comes now.

Off to the CAT scanner
Rolling down the hall
Fear of the unknown
Noises so weird
Shaken by vibrations
Pink Floyd laser show
Strapped in no motion
Circles of magnets
Scan the brain.

Pee into plastic
Eyes finally close
Told of the bleeding
No surgery now
Drugs applied flowing
Into my arm
God now hold sacred
Even if lied
Nurses are buzzing
Children do cry.

New MRI morning
Pictures to take
Rolled down a hallway
Noises fill the hospital
Lights skip a beat
Other sick pass by
Doors open wide
Sailing past doctors
Back to my room.

Lunch served by Asian
Potatoes are mashed
Gravy is thick
Jello so red
Time for a sleep
First in a while
Blood is drawn
Another test is done.

Haircut is given
Manbun installed
Tablet delivers news
What happened today
Watching the social
Tales of the stroke
Love is outpouring
Friends shed a tear.



The Single Strangest Computing Day of my Life

Am I sinking into madness?  I started using computers in 1976 at Elysian Park Elementary in Los Angeles. The days of that donated IBM machine and punch cards are still fresh in my mind. It started benignly at first, I was attempting to post an item to my PlayStation Community on the Android mobile app I had to change the password, I could not log in after that, moving on to my PlayStation 4 I was now locked out. “Strange,” I thought, however I moved on. I have attempting to set up a new website for my Mother who is an artist on wordpress.com. There was no way to do so, i was stuck. This has never happened to me, two weird computing things in one day. Next I was working on a photo I had taken of a Red Ryder BB gun from 1938, no matter how hard I tried in GIMP, I could not save a the rotated image properly and a filter would not work. “Spooky.” I was then trying to register on the a Daisy website. It would not let me. Password issue again. A bad DVD would not let me rip it. A file that I thought i had created disappeared. I could not fix an issue on my tablet I had heard could be fixed by watching This Week in Google by searching Google. There are many possible options for this. My hard drive has caused an error to occur. A hacker is having their fun with me. I am dreaming. I have gone into a coma. I have lost my mind.

Best Way to Enjoy Movies and TV shows for Free

There are many ways these days to watch movies and TV shows for free. This is a list of some great options for classic and current films and TV shows.

Pluto TV is a my go to option. Tons of Live channels and on demand films and TV shows.

IMDB has some great films and TV shows available.

Shout! Factory is known for their MST3K offerings. But they have been the place to go for great films as well

Tubi is another great free service for movies and TV shows.

Crackle has some great movie and TV watches.

vudu currently has

Popcorn Flix has movies and TV shows.

FILMRISE has some movies and TV shows including a bunch of great documentaries.

COMET yet another movie service which includes a one channel movie stream.

INTERNET ARCHIVE has movies without commercials. Watch The Ghoul, Harakiri and The Prisoner of Zender.

kanopy is a service that can access with participating libraries.

Don’t forget to check out your local library. Movies I have found at mine have been The Godfather, Gone Girl and The Avengers: Endgame.

Also your local town my have free flicks in the park, don’t miss them.